A friend once told me his guiding life philosophy was “you go first.” The gist: Whatever you want other people to be doing, you have to do it first.
Well, this feels related: How to tell great stories explains the power of mirror neurons and why a good storyteller “should blow his own mind when he recounts his stories.”
Blowing your own mind entails being excited at moments of excitement, being shocked at moments of shock, and being wowed at moments of wonder. Listeners feed off this like sugar.
This, it turns out, is far more important than vocal rhythm or any other delivery trick.
Because, when you blow your own mind, something mesmerizing happens: you relive the story and its impact on you in real-time. People then see that reflected on your face and in your authentic emotions.
It's irresistibly infectious for the audience.
Not one great storyteller had articulated this to me before.
I believe this works so well because of the phenomenon of "mirror neurons," as some call it: when you see a fighter break their ankle, you wince in pain. When you see someone who can’t breathe from laughing so hard, you smile. And—the classic—when the person next to you yawns, you yawn too.
We can trace the roots of this phenomenon through years of evolution: picture a hunter-gatherer rushing down from the mountaintop to frantically gather his tribespeople. He’s exasperated and trying to recount what just happened: a pack of starving lions sprinted after him for half a mile. The tribe is glued to his every word because they feel the horror on his face—and they fear that could have been them.
It. Could. Have. Been. Them.
That's the feeling you need to transfer into your audience. They don't feel it in their bones unless it looks like you're feeling it first.
Smile and they’ll feel it. Same with laughing. Even a smirk or twinkle in the eye can move ‘em.
New podcast season
The new season of my podcast Kind of a Lot with Matt Ruby launched today. And lookie here, we added video!
Of course, you can still get the audio version wherever you pod too.
dear matt,
this is great: "A friend once told me his guiding life philosophy was 'you go first.' The gist: Whatever you want other people to be doing, you have to do it first."
thanks for sharing it!
love
myq