Yeah, yeah, yeah re: the rule of three. But also: Fives work pretty well too.
Here’s Brian Boone revisiting Larry Miller’s Classic Bit ‘The Five Levels of Drinking.’ and discussing “how masterful, well-written, and influential it was.”
Miller’s routine was called “The Five Levels of Drinking.” How could anybody possibly have anything new to say, or a new way to say it, about the near-universal and almost-always-the-same human experience of getting drunk, acting stupid, and pretending to swear off booze forever? Miller found a way. “Five Levels” is more of a monologue or spoken-word piece than it is a collection of jokes because it’s a carefully constructed story about a single topic.
It’s the story, told in the second person (the action revolves around “you,” instantly drawing in the audience) about a man who gets more and more drunk at a series of increasingly sketchy locations. In each of the five stages, individual details about the behavior of the character change, each time escalating things to more and more absurd heights. For example, Miller’s protagonist goes from arguing against artificial turf in sports, to arguing in favor of it, to thinking he is artificial turf. And the tipple of choice changes to, from beers at a bar, to tequila, to a bottle of rum, to “some kind of thick blue liquor.” The character becomes increasingly affectionate and then hostile to the same stranger, and then winds up drinking with guys who got out of jail “as recently as that morning.” Each stage is very rhythmic and ends with a refrain of “why, as long as I get [diminishing number] of sleep, I’m cool.”
The humor here lies in both the familiar as well as the absurd places that the familiar could be gently massaged into heading. It’s also in the details and the rhythm. In the often generic sea of late ‘80s comedy, it was eye-opening to see that comedy didn’t have to be just setups and punchlines about dating.
Reminds me of Hannibal Buress, in Animal Furnace, talking about the Five Stages of Gr–, er, the Five Stages of 💩 on a Plane:
I had a dark moment in my travels recently. I had to take a *** on a plane. That never happened to me. Sixteen years of flying, never shat on a plane. I went through so many emotions.
First was anger. "Dammit, I gotta *** on the plane!"
Then it was denial. "I'm not shittin' on this plane."
Then it was sadness. "I gotta *** on the plane?"
Then it was acceptance. "Yeah, I guess I gotta *** on this plane."
Then it was happiness. "Yo, I'm shittin' in the sky!"
There’s something comforting about the way these bits set expectations with the audience while also making sure there are fun twists along the way. There’s a box but also room to play.
Vaguely related: The song “Back at One” by Brian McKnight.
One, you're like a dream come true
Two, just wanna be with you
Three, girl, it's plain to see
That you're the only one for me, and
Four, repeat steps one through three
Five, make you fall in love with me