“Why is it that most of the people who are against abortion are people you wouldn’t want to f*ck in the first place?”
-George Carlin
In his tribute to George Carlin, CK explained how much he loves the way Carlin starts off his Back in Town special.
Carlin’s opening line: “Why why why why why why is it that most of the people who are against abortion are people you wouldn’t want to f*ck in the first place?” The choice to open like that says a lot…it's gonna be like THAT.
Louis CK opens his Hilarious special by explaining “most people are dead” and then segueing into “You don’t even know each other. You’re facing the same direction. That’s all you have in common.” It sets the tone beautifully for the rest of the hour: random/absurd/dark.
Hello, everybody. Um, Hello. I mean, by everybody, I mean, uh, you guys. Uh, I mean everybody who’s here. Really I shouldn’t say “everybody,” Because most people are not here. By a pretty huge majority, most people are not here. Most people are in China, actually. It’s true. Actually, that’s not true. Most people are dead. Did you know that? It’s true. Out of all the people that ever were, almost all of them are dead. There are way more dead people. And you’re all gonna die, and… and then you’re gonna be dead for way longer than your life. Like, that’s mostly What you’re ever gonna be. You’re just dead people That didn’t die yet… Uh… I don’t know how to start shows. It’s just a problem that I have. I never… I never figured out how to come out and just start talking, because the first thing you say on stage always feels stupid, Because there’s no real reason for me to talk to you. It just doesn’t exist. I don’t know you. You don’t-you’re- You don’t even know each other. You’re facing the same direction. That’s all you have in common. So I just have to… Bleh!
And I love the relatability of CK’s “I’m broke” bit that he began sets with a decade ago.
"I’m broke, is anyone else broke? You ever get so broke that the bank starts charging you money…for not having enough money? I’m fuckin’ broke, man. The bank called me up, they said ‘Hi, we’re calling you because you don’t have enough money.’ I said, I know! They said ‘You have insufficient funds,’ and I said, well, I agree with that. I find my funds to be grossly insufficient! Thanks for calling… Why are you mad at me? I don’t understand what…How is this something I’m doing to you? She was like, ‘Sir, you only have $20, that’s not enough. You can’t only have $20!’ I was like, look, I’m not being broke just to fuck with you, I really don’t have any money! I’m not trying to be a d*ck, I just…my life is shitty!"
And it keeps going from there. Hilarious, personal, and insightfully (i.e. “that’s so true”) observational all at the same time. It’s like woe-is-me Rodney mixed with “Ya ever notice?” Seinfeld. And so many punchlines via so few words. Impeccable word choice on “I find my funds to be grossly insufficient” too. You can even hear the crowd climb onboard. They’re chatty up top and 100% with him by the end.