Seinfeld hates cheap applause lines

“I really wish you didn't feel like you have to do that."

“Jerry's going on so we're cutting you down to 10 minutes.” Yeah, uh, no problem.

Here's Gary Gulman watching from the back. Photo credit: Elon Gold.

Years ago, I got to watch Seinfeld work out some new at the Cellar. My fave part was how annoyed he got at cheap applause lines. A room applauding “I’m engaged” or whatever ain’t helpful when you’re just explaining something that sets up a joke.

“I have three kids” and everyone applauded. “I'm 63 now” = more applause. And Seinfeld couldn’t stand it. He started muttering with disdain under his breath: “I really wish you didn't feel like you have to do that but, fine, let's get it out of the way. Okay, very good.”

It was the exact same look of disgust he gave when Keisha tried to hug him.

Viva consent!

“In my reality … I don’t hug a total stranger. I have to meet someone, say hello. I gotta start somewhere. Hug isn’t first moment of a human, two humans. I never did that.”