Brian Regan's amazing "You too!" opener
He's just trying to go through life "without looking stupid." And this opener nails that vibe perfectly.
Love me some Regan. And this might be the greatest opener of all time. (Throw your fave in the comments.)
Super relatable (we’ve all been there), funny act outs (especially how he tries to cover up his initial infraction), and establishes his persona right out of the gate.
Here it is transcribed:
Just tryin' to go through life without looking stupid.
It's not workin' out too well.
Sometimes you'll say the wrong thing at the right time and feel stupid.
Somethin' like, "You too!"
I was gettin' out of a cab at the airport and the driver goes, "Hey have a nice flight!"
"You too!"
"You too, you have a nice flight too, in case you ever fly someday."
Don't even look at me, I'm a moron.
Don't know when to say the "You too" phrase.
Can't handle it.
I never learn, you know. A waitress will bring my meal. "Hey, enjoy your meal."
"You too!"
"But you don't have one, do ya? I'm a doofus!"
"If you do eat, enjoy it when you eat it if you have a break or something, later!"
"If you get an opportunity, that's all I'm tryin' to say!"
"That's all that I'm drivin' at, really! If you think about it..."
"...That's all."
You ever start to say somethin' and in the middle of what you're sayin' you decide to say somethin' else, completely?
You know, there's already words out there.
These friends were leaving the other day and I started to say, "Hey, take care!" And I decided to say "Good luck!" Instead like halfway through, you know.
So it came out neither, "See you later, Brian!"
"Take... luck!"
"Take luck and care... take... care of the luck. Good luck take care of the... the luck that you might have."
"If you have luck, take it, care for it. Take luck care of it... when you take luck care of..." [Brian shouting gibberish.]
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