An open letter to comedians (and comedy fans) who love free speech

On the election and what it means to be a champion of free speech.

Dear free speech loving comedians (and comedy fans),

Look, I get it. I wanna be able to say ret@rded and joke about trans people too. I agree, the left is too sensitive and woke people are too easily offended.

But the thing is they don’t have actual power. The blue hairs featured on Libs of TikTok can’t stop you from saying anything. All they can do is complain.

The true danger to free speech comes from an authoritarian government. In this election, it comes from the fascist candidate.

(By the way, it’s not me calling him that. It’s multiple generals who worked closely with him. There’s a lotta drama queen-ing going on around this election, but those guys ain’t divas.)

“How bad can it be?” you might ask. “We did four years with him already.”

Yeah, that was with adults in the room telling him he can’t, say, just shoot protestors in the legs. They won’t be around this time.

That was with him having to run for election again. After this, he’ll never need approval from voters again.

That was before the Supreme Court he appointed gave him free reign. If elected again, he is unleashed.

It’s possible he’ll be able to do almost anything he wants. And what he wants is to be a dictator. What he wants is to be a fascist. What he wants is to be an authoritarian ruler. He’s told us so.

And I promise you, that does not work out well for comedy. The first people that authoritarians go after are journalists, comedians, and dissidents.

There is no such thing as free speech fascism.

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Will he let you joke about Puerto Ricans? Sure, that’ll be fine. But what if you want to be like George Carlin and criticize the government? What if you want to be Bill Hicks and mock those in charge? Good luck with that. There’s no room for truth-tellers in a dictatorship. You compliment the emperor’s clothes or they take your mic away.

Sure, you’ll get to say naughty words. But your ideas will have to toe the line. Those who speak truth to power will get labelled “the enemy within.”

Ask anyone who’s lived in a country ruled by an authoritarian. I mean, who’s your favorite comedian from a fascist country?

There is no such thing as free speech fascism.

If you truly love free speech, don’t vote for the candidate who wants to throw CBS off the air because “60 Minutes” said something mean about him. What the hell kind of free speech is that?

Did you see how Bezos was scared to let his paper endorse Kamala? That’s how it starts. He’s got all the money in the world and he’s cowering. Do you think Netflix is going to fight for your right to tell any joke you want? Do you think Elon and Zuck are gonna stand up and fight for your right to criticize those in charge on their platforms? Please. The clouds are on the horizon.

If you still support this movement because you wanna say naughty words or “the libs have no sense of humor,” consider that you might be a useful idiot for creeps like Steve Bannon and Stephen Miller. They’re taking your desire to say anything at a roast and turning you into a vessel for a narcissistic con man who cares only about himself and will turn on you or anyone else who tries to criticize him. And by then it will be too late.

You’re a comedian. You know bullsh*t when you see it. Call it out and fight against it instead of being the lube at a fascist freak-off.

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I know, so damn serious. Just feel like I gotta say something. Here’s a joke about things being “tied up”:

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